Perhaps it’s just all the etiquette books I’ve been reading lately, but I have a feeling that this video is not how a girl should act.
And I don’t mean that from an oppressed “women need to behave in this way” type of way. I mean that in a “shouldn’t girls empower one another” kind of way.
First of all, when did “stupid hoe” become a good insult? I mean, puh-lease. If you feel the need to be insulting (please don’t, it’s so tacky), at least come up with something wittier. Derek Blasberg, author of Classy says, “Insults are like parties: Only the really creative ones are memorable. If you need to insult someone, come up with something original. It will hurt more if it’s specific.”
Comparisons are forced on us everywhere: magazines, television, judgements from family and friends, everywhere. Judgement is everywhere. This judgement is what we use to hold ourselves over one another, therefore forcing comparisons to persist. Everywhere we see girls comparing themselves to other girls. Think to a party or other social gathering where you may have heard something like this:
“Yeah, I’m not really like most girls, I mostly hang out with guys.”
“I’m not like most girls, I’m not into shopping.”
“I’m different from most girls (insert something that makes them different from most girls but isn’t legit like “I USED TO BE A GUY”- Then, you might get props.)
Why don’t we want to be like one another? Why don’t we want to be like most girls? We are girls, shouldn’t we embrace it? Shouldn’t we love ourselves for being unique, but also feminine (even if only in the sense that we have a, uhm, girly bit). I personally feel that by putting one another down we are only showing how much we dislike our own gender. By insulting one another, or by pointing out that we are “not like other girls” we are not progressing. We are regressing. We are making one another look bad. Furthermore, from someone who hopes to “empower women” this, and other Minaj songs do the exact opposite. Her songs emphasize that she is the best and only, she is not empowering, she is making no room for competition. As girls, I think that we should empower one another, we should celebrate our femininity, and we should encourage one another to be the best we can be…. instead of calling one another “stupid hoes” and pushing our way to success by beating others down.
Putting others down doesn’t make us higher, it lowers our standards for excellence.
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