Smiling is not Flirting

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The idea for this post came because of the last topic I wrote about. A man I met only a few times bought my coffee at Sbux for almost a whole week. I had the hardest time deciding if this was creepy or nice. I received a lot of feedback from readers on this topic. The comments were split right down the middle. Some people thought it was creepy and some people thought it was just a nice gesture. I’m still not sure what I think.

After I wrote that post I got into a few conversations with people about the difference between being friendly and flirty. Anyone that knows me is well aware that I love to smile and talk to complete strangers. Meeting new people is one of the things I enjoy most in life.

It has come to my attention that guys think very differently than females do. (I obviously already knew this, but I was not aware of how different.) I recently learned that a majority of males take a polite smile or a friendly conversation as a form of flirting WTH?!? I’m sorry I must admit that I DO NOT understand this at all.

I would strike up a conversation with just about anyone. I try and smile at everyone I come in contact with, because it’s polite. Why do some guys see friendly behavior as flirting? Just because a female makes conversation with you does not mean she is interested in you.

I’ve heard it over and over again that if a female does not want attention from males she should not be “so friendly”. To me, this is absolute BS. I am not going to stop being myself just because men don’t know how to read social cues.

So, I would like to know why do men take being friendly as flirting? And girls, do you ever experience this?

4 thoughts on “Smiling is not Flirting

  1. Guys seeing smiling and conversation as an opening, not necessarily as flirting. As the vast majority of women want the man to make the first move, an opening can be reason enough to him to take a chance. Sure if this bothered you enough, you could just stop talking to every guy who you aren’t interested in, or both sides can just accept this interaction as a byproduct of the pursuit process. Men will get rejected by women who were just being nice. It’s not mean, it’s just her being honest.

    1. This is a very well written true response. Although, I must make the argument that more women should speak up and say something if they like a guy. It would make life easier for the men.

      1. Haha if you want to get that movement going then I am completely behind you in your endeavors. Really though, don’t read too deep into it and take it as guys misreading the situation or being pigs. It’s truly a compliment that a guy is willing to risk rejection in hopes that your smiling was in fact flirting. And if you are not interested? Just say no. It is not the first first time and it wont be th last time we hear it either. I assure you of that πŸ™‚

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