If you got married young, I’m judging you

http://wanderonwards.com/2013/12/30/23-things-to-do-instead-of-getting-engaged-before-youre-23/

Read the blog post above mine, go ahead do it. After you’ve read that, continue to read this post.

The first time I read this post, I was in complete agreement. I thought to myself,”This blogger is so right, if you get married before 23 you are way too young.” Then I thought about the article a little bit longer and realized that I didn’t agree with the writer at all.

I didn’t get married young, but I have the feeling that couples that chose to, got some very negative opinions. They probably had people warning them about how the divorce rate was higher for younger couples, and how important it is to spend time getting to know and love yourself before getting married.

The writer of this post didn’t take into account that all 23 things on her list can be done while married. And that maybe the young, married couples have traveled and have truly discovered themselves.

It’s not just young married couples that get judgements though. If you recently went through a break up and start dating a new person right away, people will judge you and tell you to “take more time for yourself.” Or if you decide to move in with your boyfriend of only 5 months, you best believe you will get opinions on that one. Have a baby before the age of 30? You’ll probably receive some backlash for that as well.

We live in a very judgmental society. If someone’s decisions are different than our own we automatically assume they are wrong. I’m here to tell you that’s not the case.

As millennials we are all over the place. Some people have 2 kids by the time they are 23, while some are still in their party phase. That’s ok. We need to stop putting a specific age and time bracket on when we accomplish things in our lives.

So, if you are 21, and ready to get married I say go for it. If you are 25 and still single and ready to mingle, live it up! We MUST STOP judging each other.

4 thoughts on “If you got married young, I’m judging you

  1. Amen to this and thanks for sticking up for us who are married and rocking it because we want to πŸ™‚ because we made a choice and we are happy with it, and we choose to beat the odds πŸ™‚ it truly is time to start accepting people’s choices in this world being 23 or 33

  2. Love it!! Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and I liked both articles. Everyone is different and that’s what makes this world so awesome.

  3. The main problem with the wanderon blog post is that she assumes that she is unusual in not getting married young. She seems to be fighting against some pressure. Yet, the reality is that she is in the majority. The average marrying age in the US is 25-26. What I find bothersome is the idea that finding yourself must be done outside of a relationship. Learning to love a real live person day in and day out has helped me discover myself in ways I never would have otherwise (being alone allows one to ignore lots of unpleasant parts of ourselves).

    Honestly, it’s those who get married young that need the encouragement. They are told they don’t have their lives together yet, they haven’t saved enough yet, they haven’t found a viable career, they’re too young to understand commitment or love, they’re just kids, blah, blah. In fact, my wife and I got some of these very comments when we got engaged.

    So, I agree with you that we need to stop judging each other and, from what I’ve seen, it’s the early-marriage folk who are getting most of the judging these days.

  4. The main problem with the wanderon blog post is that she assumes that she is unusual in not getting married young. She seems to be fighting against some pressure. Yet, the reality is that she is in the majority. The average marrying age in the US is 25-26. What I find bothersome is the idea that finding yourself must be done outside of a relationship. Learning to love a real live person day in and day out has helped me discover myself in ways I never would have otherwise (being alone allows one to ignore lots of unpleasant parts of ourselves).

    Honestly, it’s those who get married young that need the encouragement. They are told they don’t have their lives together yet, they haven’t saved enough yet, they haven’t found a viable career, they’re too young to understand commitment or love, they’re just kids, blah, blah. In fact, my wife and I got some of these very comments when we got engaged.

    So, I agree with you that we need to stop judging each other and, from what I’ve seen, it’s the early-marriage folk who are getting most of the judging these days.

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