We’ve all experienced the highs of being in a relationship. There is something so exquisite about having a significant other. The world just automatically seems to be a better place when you have someone special in your life.
And then the thing that everyone in a relationship dreads happens-you break up. It doesn’t matter who does the breaking up, you or your significant other. Breaking up is one of the most painful things a person can go through.
It seems as if someone in your life has died suddenly. You no longer have that person to call, text or spend your spare time with.
A break-up is like a death without the funeral.
In society when someone dies we commemorate the life of that person with a funeral. The family receives closure. Cards, flowers and meals are sent to the family who experienced the death.
Yet, when you experience a break-up none of these things happen. The world just keeps spinning and expects you to move on with it.
A break-up is almost worse than a death because the person is still alive. There is hardly ever closure. The person is living and usually very quickly after your break-up, loving some one else.
Facebook has only made the awful experience of breaking up even worse. For days or even months after the relationship has ended people can be found repeatedly going through their exes photos, checking up on statues and creeping on the new person their ex is in a relationship with.
I do not claim to have the answer to getting over a break-up. I do, however, suggest having a “funeral” of sorts to mourn the loss of the relationship.
This may sound a bit odd at first, but I believe that it will help in the process of moving on. Having been through many break-ups myself I have found that having a funeral for my past relationship has helped me learn and move on.
In the past I have obsessed over exes by pouring through their photos, re-reading old facebook messages and saved texts. I wasted so much time doing this, until recently.
I laid my last relationship to rest by making a list of all the good aspects of my past relationship. Just like you choose to remember all of the good things about a person after they die, I chose to remember the happy times in my past relationship. I made a mental list of all the happy times and promised myself I would move on.
I asked a few of my closest friends to participate in my “funeral” for my past relationship. I read aloud my best memories. After that it was over.
I had the closure I needed to move on. I wasn’t sure how many more “funerals” I would have to endure. The one thing I did know was that I had found a way to move on and keep living my fabulous life.